Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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