just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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