gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
