Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
