Well douche your snatch and let's go!
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
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