Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
