Don't you send me to vm
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
