Im at strip club and am horny
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
