We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize