you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Everyone says I win the strip club
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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