OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
