i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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