My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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