I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need water and some morals
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
