I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
