Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
