maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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