its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Randomize