I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
