It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I need to sanitize my soul.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
