Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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