Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
