I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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