You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
