shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
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