I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
