May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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