It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
how do flat chested girls get laid?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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