dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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