why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
