11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Sry I called you an 8
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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