i always forget guys have bellybuttons
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize