So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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