why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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