My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
