so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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