Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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