So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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