you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
