Your dad touched me again.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
