Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
