New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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