Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize