The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
