im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
