return my video game
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
