you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
