I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize