Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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