Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize