So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
