ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
