Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
