she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
