so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
