We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
